Different Meanings but Frequently Confused Verbs: (to) REMIND or (to) REMEMBER:

As similar as these two verbs are, their meanings are quite different. For non-native speakers of English, not knowing this distinction can identify you as such.

In some cases, you can be saying something you don't even mean to say.

It is not correct, for example, to say "Remember me to mail this letter." Why is this not correct?

What's the difference?

First, let's do a pre-test. Which verb - remember or remind - goes in each blank? The sentences and short paragraphs below were written by ESL students.

• Do I hate anyone?I have nothing to hate and nobody to hate. Hatred can only hurt me so I always ________  myself not to hate anyone or anything.

• The book The Light in the Forest, by Conrad Richter, told me a lot that I hadn't known about the lives of the indigenous people of North America. It also ________ me of my native China, the way it used to be, and the way I perceive it now. . .

• When the autumn came. The wind blew and picked her petals off and blew them away. The wind left only one petal for him to ________ her by, he held onto her image for a short time, but then winter came and pressed against his mind and buried his dream.
  
  

One way of looking at these two verbs is to know that the verb (to) recall is similar in meaning to the verb (to) remember. Both imply thinking about something that occurred in the past. People who have developed certain forms of dementia have difficulty REMEMBERING. That is, the cannot recall what has happened in the past. We talk about short-term memory and long-term memory: These two forms of memory describe rembering things that happened recently and things that happened a long time ago.

The concept of (to) remind implies necessarily looking to the future. REMIND has a direct object and an indirect object: Somebody is reminding somebody of something. In the first example, I always ________  myself not to hate anyone or anything the only verb that can fit here is "remind". The person wants to remind WHO? of WHAT? WHO is  the writer herself, and OF WHAT is NOT TO HATE ANYONE OR ANYTHING. This verb has a direct - myself - and an indirect - not to hate anyone or anything - object.

Hence, I always remind myself not to hate anyone or anything.

In the second example, It also ________ me of my native China, the way it used to be, and the way I perceive it now In the second example, the only verb that can fit here is "remind". The person wants to remind WHO? of WHAT? WHO is the writer and WHAT is "the way her native China used to be and the way she perceives it now. This verb has a direct - me - and an indirect - the way China used to be - object.

Hence, It also reminds me of my native China, the way it used to be, and the way I perceive it now. . 

 In the third example, The wind left only one petal for him to ________ her by, as only one object, her. The writer thinks about the past and recalls the past.

Hence, The wind left only one petal for him to remember her by

 Look at this news headline:

18 years later, Americans stop to remember the September 11 attacks

We also have this headline:

New HIV strain reminds us that innovation is urgent and fundamental

The opposite of "remember" is "forget," as in "I forgot to mail the letter."

The opposite of "to remind" is "not to remind," as in "Don't remind me!"